The "Dark Side" of Lent & Overcoming It

The more stressful or harder life becomes, the more fearful I am and I find myself wanting to control the outcomes. The more control I attempt to exert, the less patient I am with life. The less patient I am with life, the easier it is to search for fault in what life throws at me. The longer the search, the more impatient and angry life will become overall. Stress leads to fear, fear leads to impatience, impatience leads to anger, anger leads to the...

Holy crap..., it's my own personal path to the "Dark Side." I actually had no idea I was going all Star Wars on you with this until I started writing, but there you have it!

Guys like me, you see, we're supposed to be strong. While I'm not quite sure if I can pass all those physical strength or speed tests with flying colors, I know I should have complete control over the strength of the spiritual, ethical, and moral side of life. If you're from my generation (I'm 36) and have been fortunate enough to have a good Catholic upbringing, or if you come from a good family, or you spawned from good parents, weren't boys taught that we are supposed to grow up and be strong? A moral leader for our family? A wise decision maker? Our success would be measured by the job we obtain, the family we begin, and the legacy we leave. Wow, how open to interpretation each of those three areas are.

The temptations that develop for me during Lent truly feel as if they come from the dark side. They are stronger. They are more ruthless. They are more hurtful. They are more frequent. It's rather clever actually, how that all works. Stress and fear creep in ever so subtlely. They attack those three areas:

Work dark side thoughts - "How am I doing at work? Oh, didn't you finish that, don't you have to worry about this? Why can't everything progress effeciently and effectively? Don't you hate doing this part of your job? What a horrid busy week you have next week RJ... here's another 100 e-mails." It probably doesn't help that I receive more E-mails than anyone else at work. True fact! I'm in the top 10 senders too! No wonder why I have these fears of failure.
Family dark side thoughts - "You're upset at your kids alot lately aren't you? Aren't they being annoying again? Can they give me 5 minutes of quiet? I don't get much time to spend with my wife (Stephi) do I? Gosh, we're always so busy. I wish I wasn't busy. I wish she wasn't working so much. Why isn't anyone helping me more? Us more?"
Legacy dark side thoughts - "Perfection is mandatory. Otherwise, I will have no legacy. I don't know how to constantly achieve perfection. So, I don't get to serve others. I don't get to pray nearly as much as I'd like. I'm not in good health habit mode. etc. etc. etc."

"Guess what?" I had to tell myself. "That's not God."

Stuff keeps going wrong in Lent. The temptation to be dragged down further and further grows. "Guess what?" I had to tell myself again. "That's not God."

You know what is? 1 john 1:5. "God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say, 'We have fellowship with him,' while we continue to walk in darkness, we lie and do not act in truth." It's an awesome verse. It goes on with great advice about reconciliation. You should read it. But, I'm going to stop right there.

Two things:

1. In God, there is no darkness, AT ALL. At all. Why the need for this emphasis? Why is there a need for it in an epistle written to those who already believe?

We need it more. The path down the dark side gets pushed in front of us more. The temptations are stronger. We need the reassurance that God is light because I firmly believe the path of the dark is to trick us into thinking the light and dark can coexist on the path to the light. I'll draw in more Star Wars symbolism and ask you this: Does the dark side get stronger/darker when it converts a Jedi from the light, or when the already dark does something dark? I'll posit the former. This is why Lent is difficult. Wasn't any easier for Jesus was it?

2. So, if we begin to think the light and the dark can coexist on the path to light, then we're walking in darkness and we are lying. Our actions are out of the realm of truth. That's what 1 John 1:5 says. We're not misguided, we are LYING to ourselves, a further deception. I guess that's what Yoda meant when he described, "...fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering..." Living in the deception of the darkness leads to our suffering.

Interesting, isn't it? How the Jedi always described the dark side as a shroud that "clouded" their ability to see the truth? Sounds like what John and Jesus tell us in this verse.

Fixing it

Guys (and ladies), you cannot conquer fear by lying to yourself that it's only going to get better if you take it all on yourself. If you have those dark side thoughts that create fear in the realms of your work, family, or legacy; dwelling on the darkness of it all, delving into the lie that you can fix it alone, or becoming angry about it will not lead you to light. We simply cannot walk in the darkness. We simply cannot walk alone.

You have to recognize those thoughts of fear, stress, inadequacy, whatever; they are NOT from God, because God is light. He is the light that breaks through the cloud of darkness.

Break the darkness by acting in the light and not through darkness. Do something that brings light to your life. Serving others will often snap you out of the darkness fast than anything. Show love and light to others.

So break the darkness by praying for help. You can't do it alone. Only the light can break the darkness, just as the day breaks the night. God is there. Talk to him and ask Him. It's hard, it's humbling, it's admitting you're inadequate. But it's the truth. You need Him.

Look for the help He's given you. Whether that be your spouse, your family, you friends, a priest, or your church; God's light helps us by placing readily available support in our lives. Sometimes, we just need to know where to look. Ask for their help. It's hard, it's humbling, it's admitting you're inadequate. But it's the truth. You aren't alone.

May God's light and peace be with all the guys out there this Lent.