If My Kids Ran For President - 7QTF

I'm BACK! Oh MY! What a wonderful hiatus that was. Well, I jest. It was an incredibly tumultuos and busy hiatus. You'll have to excuse me, but I hope to be back online and returning to some semblence of regular posting again.

These last three months, with Stephi going back to work, the new baby, our Church carnival, the holidays, January being a busy month in the good ol' job - adjusting to four boys has been more challenging. Boo is doing well, reading like a champ and performing complicated math problems. Hooray for halfway through kindergarten. J-Man is the never know what you're gonna get when he wakes up child, but sweetest and most thoughtful. Squish, is NOT potty trained yet. Gotta make that happen. 3 day weekend President's day, here we come!

Let's be honest and just say it. Son #4 is N E E D Y, with a capital N, and doesn't like to sleep. Ever. Squeaks, as I will affectionately call him in the blog, is not like Boo, J-Man, or Squish. They're all VERY independent. They've very much become self-managers except when they need something, which can be like every 5 seconds, or not at all that day. Squeaks just thinks he's going to miss out on so much, he just can't help but stay awake. He also doesn't like lying down. Coupled with the fact that he can't sit up, this poses his little highness quite the problem. Lying down is crucial for sleep. I try to explain this fact to him. He'd rather bounce... or eat.. all night... The maternal unit loves this trait about him, and nothing knocks him out except for nursing through the night.

I think this character trait would make Baby Squeaks a good President someday! Boundless energy with lots of bouncing between tasks. After all, I've heard our nation's leaders don't get much sleep. I've watched enough great D.C. sitcoms to know that is a fact! Maybe the occupants of the Oval Office have even perfected the art of eating while napping? Kewl.

In honor of 2016 and primary season about to begin, I submit my quick takes, which will actually be more like 2 platforms where, in some alternate reality, Squeaks or Squish was running for the highest office of the land. Since they're 2 years old and 4 & 1/2 months, don't expect them to know the names of foreign leaders or care much for history or tradition. Remember now, we're a Catholic, pro-family platform over here. Also, their 6 and 4 year old brothers wholeheartedly endorse whichever one of them isn't vying with them for attention, and call upon you for your vote.

~ 1 ~ Baby Squeaks' Campaign Platform

Primary Focus Issue: Allowing access to comfy chairs and pillows for nursing mothers enabling the ability to feed their babies anywhere, all the time, as much as their babies desire.

Running Mate: Squeaky Toy Giraffe, whose post election focus would be on the working conditions of other animals stuffed, synthetic, and BPA free. I mean who wants to squeak all day and all night and not get overtime? Marketplace plans need to pay for broken squeakers!

Campaign Slogan for Infomercials: Change Me! (And my outfit! Again.)

First Executive Order Passed if Elected: 26 weeks paid parental leave and free childcare up until 4 years old! WooHoo!

Campaign T-Shirts: Daddy's Little Helper's Gonna Help this Country!

~ 2 ~ Sir Squish's Campaign Platform

Primary Focus on the Issue of: Fresh Milk for All! Parents saving money trying to reuse sippy cups full of breakfast milk for lunch, just isn't good enough any more. Two year olds everywhere unite! We just won't stand for it! We know you just took that cup outta the fridge. If it's not fresh, we ain't drinkin'. (This ad paid for by the Dairy Farmers of America.)

Cabinet:

VP = Mickey Mouse, (or Mah Mouse as we affectionately call him)

Dept. of State = WallyKazam (perfect position for someone who can wave a magic wand and make words come to life and problems disappear. Runner Up - Sofia the First.)

Treasury = Jake and the Never Land Pirates (They always account for all their treasure. Dang, we could pass a balanced dubloon budget! Jake brings us back to the gold standard?)

Health and Human Services = Doc McStuffins (Cripe, if she can fix a snowman and a dragon, my campaign manager says she's pretty sure she could tackle healthcare.)

Defense = Kion, from the Lion Guard (and if you're like whaaaa? Don't worry, you'll soon find out what this is all about if you have todds.)

Agriculture = Wild Kratts (Yup, we're expanding this position to Agriculture and Zoology.)

Justice = Sheriff Callie (Gosh if we could all just get along like in Nice and Friendly Corners.)

Interior = Rubble and/or Marshall, Paw Patrol. Ryder as special advisor.

Commerce = Chip and Dale (What? They're industrious!)

Labor = Bob the Builder (Yes we can!)

Housing and Urban Development = Peppa Pig (Wait she isn't one of the 3 little pigs? who knew?)

Transportation = Blaze and the Monster Machines (Well duh!)

Energy = Dora the Explorer (Have you ever seen her get tired? Or frown? Ever? Shoot, she climbs mountains, trapses through forests, gets a freakin' monkey through safely too, and is even in the arctic on car insurance commercials. Talk about a new source for

renewable energy...)

Education = Curious George (Learning everything is wonderous!)

Veteran's Affairs = Captain America (Avengers nod!)

Homeland Security = Chase from Paw Patrol (Why? Because he'll apprehend terrorists on the double! SORRY I couldn't resist!)

Hot off the bedtime trail... Squish holding up the #1. (You see why Mouse is VP?)

Boo with the V for Victory! We win either way!

J-Man holding up Squeaks, who seems unphased as he eagerly thinks about bedtime snacks.

Vote in the Comments! Squish or Squeaks!

For more great quick takes visit This Ain't the Lyceum! See you next week!