7 Reasons why we take our kids to eat at a "hole in the wall" establishment -7QT

RJ @Meant2Dad A Catholic Dad Blog
Jul 23, 2015
6 min read

I know, I know. Last time I promised pictures of our "Share the Gifts" donate food items to charity double birthday party. We'll get there! I promise. But first, a picture of us with an astronaut! You should have heard Squish chanting Rock - ET! Rock- ET! or Sutta sutta (shuttle), and our favorite nanaut (astronaut). Brave champ of the heat award goes to my very preggers wife for not wilting one bit.

I'd now like to share some Catholic Dad moments from this month, and why we take our kids to eat at what we affectionately call "dives."

- Reason 1 - (Be like the three wise men.)

To teach them to put some effort in and seek out a hidden treasure. You've all done this at some point, admit it. You have put in a valiant search and found a little sports bar, coffee shop, family diner, fish shack, food truck, etc. when all other options failed. You have probably developed, through trial and error, a short list of your "go-to" places. When the places with fruits and vegetables in their names are cluttered and crowded, you want to go to that place where everyone gets to know you, and remembers you when you walk in the door, and you remember them. We have some of those places around our home base, and on our recent mini-vacation in the picture above, we're sitting outside a pirate themed breakfast joint where the waffles rival Olympian ambrosia, and the orange juice is freshly squeezed. Stray from the beaten path, stay true to your course, and dads, you might help them find that diamond, much like the wise men found Jesus.

- Reason 2 -

To show them that life is full of surprises, good or bad. We often luck out on this one. We can't always cook. I can't always whip something up. I like to cook, so does Steph. Then there are those days when you just need to get out and have an adventure. The food might turn out great, or it might not. The trip there may be stressful, or it may not. Same might be said for chance encounters with new people. If the surprise is bad? I tell them, well, you might encounter God somewhere else, like in a view of this sunset that reminds us of His handiwork.

- Reason 3 -

To break them out of their comfort zone. Ours are 5, 4, and 2. "Comfort zone? Seriously?" you may say. "A little young to grasp the concept," you may say. Fact of life - kids get nervous - boys as well as girls. I can't truly compare since ours are all boys, but you get the picture. Kids have a healthy respect and fear of the unknown. Boo, JMan, and Squish are all completely unabashed in our local Target, Publix, or Chik-Fil-A. A hole in the wall though, that can be scary walking in. How does a kid assess a situation that's unfamiliar, one that doesn't make them feel comfortable? Should I run and hide behind Daddy or cautiously survey the surroundings and dare to explore? I'd rather they inherit the latter trait. It's how I hope they will learn. Helping them to overcome that fear of an unknown, the new, and helping them to know how to manage their own personal little safety zone will equip them with self-confidence to handle larger problems in their futures.

We sing this little song to pump them up before encountering the unknown, "Boo/JMan/Squish is courageous, courageous and brave. My boys are courageous, courageous and brave." I then toss them into the building and leave them there. Ha, gotcha, you're still awake? NO! That's not what we do. I'm sure I probably had someone taking notes just now, thinking, but wait, won't they report you? Newsflash. That is not some new fangled weird parenting trend! Don't try it. You will likely be arrested.

Throwing them at a cow with a human inside 5 times their size, now that's scary. Or maybe not so much anymore.

Prompting them to take the lead, to enter first, to make contact and say "Hello" to the hostess, while walking right behind them nudging them on? That's us. That's our kids.

- Reason 4 -

To give them real life experience and practice with their manners with people that will often be a bit more forgiving. Dads, let's face it. Fancy restaurants are just a pipe dream and reserved for special date nights only. Chains are so busy, they just automatically expect you're the next family of entitled spoiled brats walking in that they'll have to clean up after. But a dive? Chances are they take two looks at you and give you a nice big table, or an empty back room... but either way they'll probably give you and your kids a chance to impress. Some of the most polite waiters and waitresses we've met work in dives.

We all want our kids to be polite, respectful, well-mannered boys and girls and deomnstrate that to everyone no matter how classy or how trashy. We all want our kid to be the one that everyone goes back to their own kids and says, "See how polite Boo was?" or "JMan always says please and thank you, you need to do it too!"

I'm not just talking about the please and thank you either. I'm talking about the rules of conversation, limiting interruptions, the excuse me... for more reasons than one, the ability to make their own requests, how to wait patiently (our family's continual work in progress), how to respect other adults, and how to be grateful for the people that served us. Otherwise, it's grab your pack and hit the road, Jack! Especially when your 4 year old brother teaches you to belch on command, like Squish parrots below.

At home where everyone is more lax and comfortable, we find it easier to let things slide. Unfortunately, some parents apply that let it slide philosophy to the rest of life as well. I know what you're thinking, we're the ones who then look downright evil when we are actually trying to reprimand our kids in public or coax a better response out of them. To those critics and nay-sayers, I say, I always want to be their best bud, but I'M THEIR PARENT FIRST, NOW AND FOREVER.

- Reason 5 -

No dress code. Jeans & a T-shirt? Shorts and Sandals? Sign us up! Apparently mismatched socks are becoming a trend! Yo, I had that trend down years ago. Then again, I'm color blind between navy blue and black, and who really notices two stripes vs. three stripes? Boo loves to mismatch socks!

Dives also expose them to lots of different individuals, all with unique character and many different forms of attire. Differences drive discussion and intrigue. Intrigue breeds learning.

- Reason 6 -

The music and televisions are usually louder than a family of five plus. Maybe they'll even have a live band! Can't wait for family karaoke someday!

- Reason 7 -

It gives us a chance to teach them gratitude for what we're able to do without raising their expectations too high. In our neck of the woods, and often entering or leaving these "dives," we don't have to look far or hard to remind ourselves of how blessed we are. We have serious homelessness issues in our county, and there's no way we're going to solve it all on our own. "Dada, why is that man pushing a shopping cart?" "Dada, why doe she have all those bags?"

Never shy from the truth, at any age. I lay it on them. Society has a problem. Those who have, need to share. That's what God called us to do. "Whatever you so do to the least of my brethren, you do to Me..." I also tell them, it doesn't matter how that child of God found themselves in their current situation, we love them anyway.

We can't help everyone, but we can do something. So, you can imagine how glad our hearts were when our kids, led by our little, just turning 4, JMan, wanted to make their party a "ShareOurGifts" party, with a Mickey Mouse theme of course. Squish didn't care, he thought it was cool to pile food in a shopping cart, to bring it home to box up and take to Catholic Charities. We don't need more toys. We don't need more clothes. We don't need more books or games, or videos, or cards, or whatever they normally receive for a birthday. We're not the first to think of this. Hopefully we won't be the last.

JMan wanted "to fill a whole shopping cart with food for the place where the people have to live in tents and mini-cabins, so they're not hungry." For a small little party, people stepped up. "Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find." Right? I think one parent even tried to convince their kid this was a great idea and they should do that, right at our party.

My heart is glad. We can do something.